I feel like posting here just because I know many people wont read it, but I’d rather have it off my chest and in the pubic, kinda.
My heart has been hurting lately, and I really don’t know how to deal with it… like I’ve resorted to just conversations with God, but because I’m stubborn and not listening to His answer, I’ve come up with me own.
Lord, I know you’re molding me to be more and give more of myself. All of these challenges have provided opportunities for the enemy to swoop in and build off my vulnerability. But God, I pray that I may continue to find my strength in You and pick up Your Sword and fight off every insecurity and ill thoughts.
3 months ago
have you ever gotten the feeling that you’re crazy? I mean, makin-up-stories-or-fantasies-in-your-head-that-lead-to-bad-things crazy? Because I swear I can be, and pretty much more girls at one point or another.
3 years ago
Today has been quite a stressful day. Waking up to a call at 1 am saying that one of your most beloved elders has suffered from a stroke, then a confirmed anuerysm, can take a lot out of you.
This morning I found out that the person was Tita Elsa. Tita Elsa, of all people. The person whose family I am so close to. The person I see every Sunday at church, every Monday at prayer meeting and the occasional Friday for Bible study. The person who always gave Giornel and I such awesomely unheard of candy whenever we would go to her house on Southgate. The person who has inspired me with the Word of God in every conversation we’ve had since I was 6-7 years old. The person whom I cried to when I felt like I had disappointed my parents. The person who has had two major surgeries on her braine today. The person who now lies in a bed in ICU, 2nd floor of the E-wing, in Stanford Hospital. The person whom everyone had shed a tear for at church this morning.
Waking up to that call was so surreal when it was a stroke. Then knowing she was “unconscious” had me crying. Knowing it was an anuerysm scared me. Being helpless didn’t help me sleep at all. Prayer was all I could think of, all I could do. And I’ll do just that:
Lord, I truly, truly, TRULY lift up to you Tita Elsa. She has always been that sweet, sincere, warm hearted person at church and in my life. She has been one of Your persistant servants, who has been joyful in serving you. She was the first person I met that prayed for hours at a time, and who is always fervent in prayer. Lord, I pray that you be with her. Intercede in her life, so that the swelling that is occuring may go down and that she may be one step closer to waking up. Lord, please be with the doctors and nurses as they help her recover from this ordeal. Also, please be with the Cabalu family, and give them the comfort they need… the comfort knowing that You are the Almighty Healer, that You have a great and perfect will for Tita Elsa. I pray that you give their family the strength and support they need as they try to make some sense in this trial. Lord, we would LOVE to see her smiling, joking and praising Your Name once again. We know that you will guide everything in Your time. I am so thankful to have been blessed with her presence in most of my life here, and I pray that her presence will still be around. All these things I pray, in the Name of the most powerful and almighty God, Amen.
3 years ago
I’m at a stand point, deciding if I should use my more known tumblr account, or this one? Hmm… i should think about this.
3 years ago
